[ he looks at aspen, still, silent. an apology is not what he expected upon coming here, though he isn't sure what exactly it was he was expecting. his anger is not directed at aspen, per se, but the feeling of helplessness, the lack of autonomy, the way he can't be sure it was his own want that made his hands reach out to touch the soft feathers of aspen's wings or if it was the poison served at the festival.
it must have been the poison. but even now, he looks at aspen's wings and can't rid himself of the memory. he doesn't know if he's simply falling into the trap of loneliness after having the fleeting experience of a companion of sorts — if his slave counted as such. but damen was by his side, riding on horseback, sleeping in his tent, sitting at his table going over maps and strategy — all things laurent has never had before, and likely will never have again, and now here stands aspen showing him a kindness that doesn't feel deserved. ]
We won't speak of it. [ the warmth that forgiveness requires doesn't come easily to him, mostly out of his own spiteful nature, but in part because no one has ever tried to atone for hurting him. it's not the veretian way. ] But if you choose to be a drunken lout in public, someone will take advantage of you.
[ slowly, he draws his hand back, his arm now bandaged. something flickers in his gaze. ] You should know just as I do that no one will come to our rescue. You have to mind others and their shadows.
[ he wants to turn away now, to end this conversation by leaving altogether, set on hunting the monster, but he stops, a heavy silence hanging between them. ]
You're right. I know better, but I was careless and lulled into false security.
( and aspen isn't bothered by saying it - by agreeing that laurent's bleak view is the correct one. he shares it, as much as his sunny disposition and proclivity to help is a complete opposite to it. there are ways to oppose that point of view, and aspen is certain of it - to unfailingly insist the world was better, to be the sun in darkness, which needed a will stronger than the world's. and there was acceptance of every mortal's darkest inclinations, to admit the world was crass and ruthless and uncaring - and care anyway in just as crass and ruthless in a way of perseving balance.
aspen seemed like the former, yet was the latter.
as he tucks the bandages away, he hums, thoughtful. )
My wing, you mean? Thankfully, I was able to heal it with no complications. It wasn't too long after you broke it that I was able to heal, as healing magic requires more thought than the soul magic I used on you.
[ just as clearly as he can feel aspen's feathers in his memory, he can hear the crack of hollow bone. he finds that it's a moment he regrets, a rash act of violence in the face of his own aching panic. a slip of weakness, a loss of control. men have died for blunders such as this, and aspen would have been the least deserving. ]
I can bring some back for you. The creature's skin. [ a small offering, when a verbal apology or any other sort of atonement is beyond the depth of his grasp. he has never fostered camaraderie with his men back home — he certainly doesn't know how to forge such a thing now with the people around him. ] You can use it to treat the others. The brands aren't large, so there should be plenty.
( aspen's surprise is muted, but his warmth and gratitude isn't. it glows on his face - laurent doesn't need to utter an apology, not for someone who puts more stock in action than words anyway. )
That would be very helpful.
Are you going alone?
( the question is curious rather than prying or admonishing. after all, laurent can do something like take down a beast. probably. )
[ something shifts into place — a rightness that was missing before, perhaps, something knocked out of balance from the violence of laurent's actions, from the unpredictability of the festival's poison. discomfort eases though it doesn't disappear entirely. laurent has not been at ease for years now, holding tension like a stringed instrument, but, just for this moment, he breathes. ]
Yes. [ no biting response, just honesty. of course he is going alone, because what allies does he have here? ] I don't particularly enjoy hunting, but it's not a daunting task. It's just a more dangerous boar.
[ after a beat, just for clarification — ] You're not invited. You're too small.
Oh, no, no - I wasn't going to join, I'm useless in hunts. I know my place and I think you're the sort of person who knows what they can handle.
( and aspen's honest about that, not a hint of trying to fluff laurent up. instead, he searches through his little satchel and produces a sphere wrapped in cheesecloth. )
I was going to offer you one of these: they're small explosives of a sort. I usually make them for myself - some that release a foul-smelling gas to keep people at bay, some burst into thorns... in case you'd like them for any emergencies.
[ there's surprise in his gaze when he looks at the proffered sphere, his gaze lifting to aspen. the small bird manages to throw him off frequently, though this time the revelation piques his interest. ]
You built these yourself? Why? [ he accepts the bomb, holding it in the palm of his hand. it's the sort of thing he might've learned to do himself, in a different life. no one was ever supposed to care about the second son of the king, leaving him to do as he pleased — which mostly consisted of satisfying his voracious desire for knowledge through reading, and petting all the horses in the stables on the side. ] This is useful, thank you.
( he lowers his gaze, almost thoughtfully, trying to amass all the reasons he could claim, both vague and direct. 'the same reason we don't drink wine' works, and is just vague enough to get him out of this line of questioning. maybe. 'because everyone needs a plan C' is similarly vague, and similarly true. he has a feeling laurent won't actually accept 'someone weak like me needs more protection than fluttered lashes', if only because aspen did show that he was somewhat capable of combat on the literal boat ride here.
so instead, he breathes in and locks eyes with laurent. )
I don't think you have magic in your world, but in mine... most everyone does, and those who don't, are trained in weaponry. Magic over fire, over stone, over air - those are easy to use to hurt. You may not have noticed... but my magic is not like that. And courtesans aren't trained in weapons, and are rarely strong enough to injure others.
I needed a way to use my magic whilst in a war, whether it was on the front or back. ( he takes out a second bomb for laurent to take - this one colored a pale yellow as opposed to the vibrant green. ) And these were the answers I came up with.
I have my own, more experimental explosives I use. Those two are my tried-and-true formulas, so you can be certain they'll help you if you need it.
[ he understands right away, and would have even without the lengthy explanation. laurent himself was not born with the natural physical prowess of his brother, smaller in stature and always weaker. training himself to become a deadly force with the sword took years of grueling training, and even today he's still only half as good as auguste ever was. it required him to put his books down, to lay his softness aside, to kill the child in him and focus only on the target of killing the akielon prince who slew his brother. ]
I see, thank you. [ nothing more needs to be said. he accepts the second explosive and examines it carefully. there is nothing like this back home in vere, nothing in any of the neighboring kingdoms that he's seen. it strikes him again how many similar traits they share, with aspen flitting about appearing harmless while being anything but. likewise, laurent has always preferred not to show his hand until absolutely necessary. ] Do I just throw it to activate it?
( aspen almost heaves a sigh of relief. good - no more lines of questioning. he'd prefer it that way. perhaps laurent will be the only one who can actually handle the ugly truths aspen lives. )
Mmhm. As long as it hits a surface with force, they'll explode.
Hopefully you won't need to use them. In any case - I'll await your return, Renren.
[ for a moment he looks like a fawn facing its final moments, clearly struggling with how to react to an unfamiliar situation. he tries to remember how jord or lazar behave easily among the other men, their camaraderie a natural thing dating back to their time serving auguste, but to mimic such a thing when he has never actually participated in it himself feels... challenging. ]
Please don't call me that. [ there is no bite behind his words, and he looks half like he wants to vomit. politely, he clears his throat. ] Thank you for the explosives. I'll bring you back the creature's skin, and then our debts will be settled.
( it's a good thing aspen has trained his near-ironclad poker face. he thanks his past self for perfecting those pretty smiles and inquisitive, interested faces eyes, because otherwise, he probably would've eked out at least a small giggle. he can't help it - laurent just looked so... so... out of his element! )
Aww, alright. ( but he does look disappointed, with the tiniest pout. ) You're welcome. Stay safe out there.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
it must have been the poison. but even now, he looks at aspen's wings and can't rid himself of the memory. he doesn't know if he's simply falling into the trap of loneliness after having the fleeting experience of a companion of sorts — if his slave counted as such. but damen was by his side, riding on horseback, sleeping in his tent, sitting at his table going over maps and strategy — all things laurent has never had before, and likely will never have again, and now here stands aspen showing him a kindness that doesn't feel deserved. ]
We won't speak of it. [ the warmth that forgiveness requires doesn't come easily to him, mostly out of his own spiteful nature, but in part because no one has ever tried to atone for hurting him. it's not the veretian way. ] But if you choose to be a drunken lout in public, someone will take advantage of you.
[ slowly, he draws his hand back, his arm now bandaged. something flickers in his gaze. ] You should know just as I do that no one will come to our rescue. You have to mind others and their shadows.
[ he wants to turn away now, to end this conversation by leaving altogether, set on hunting the monster, but he stops, a heavy silence hanging between them. ]
You should be wounded. After what I did to you.
no subject
( and aspen isn't bothered by saying it - by agreeing that laurent's bleak view is the correct one. he shares it, as much as his sunny disposition and proclivity to help is a complete opposite to it. there are ways to oppose that point of view, and aspen is certain of it - to unfailingly insist the world was better, to be the sun in darkness, which needed a will stronger than the world's. and there was acceptance of every mortal's darkest inclinations, to admit the world was crass and ruthless and uncaring - and care anyway in just as crass and ruthless in a way of perseving balance.
aspen seemed like the former, yet was the latter.
as he tucks the bandages away, he hums, thoughtful. )
My wing, you mean? Thankfully, I was able to heal it with no complications. It wasn't too long after you broke it that I was able to heal, as healing magic requires more thought than the soul magic I used on you.
no subject
I can bring some back for you. The creature's skin. [ a small offering, when a verbal apology or any other sort of atonement is beyond the depth of his grasp. he has never fostered camaraderie with his men back home — he certainly doesn't know how to forge such a thing now with the people around him. ] You can use it to treat the others. The brands aren't large, so there should be plenty.
no subject
That would be very helpful.
Are you going alone?
( the question is curious rather than prying or admonishing. after all, laurent can do something like take down a beast. probably. )
no subject
Yes. [ no biting response, just honesty. of course he is going alone, because what allies does he have here? ] I don't particularly enjoy hunting, but it's not a daunting task. It's just a more dangerous boar.
[ after a beat, just for clarification — ] You're not invited. You're too small.
no subject
Oh, no, no - I wasn't going to join, I'm useless in hunts. I know my place and I think you're the sort of person who knows what they can handle.
( and aspen's honest about that, not a hint of trying to fluff laurent up. instead, he searches through his little satchel and produces a sphere wrapped in cheesecloth. )
I was going to offer you one of these: they're small explosives of a sort. I usually make them for myself - some that release a foul-smelling gas to keep people at bay, some burst into thorns... in case you'd like them for any emergencies.
no subject
You built these yourself? Why? [ he accepts the bomb, holding it in the palm of his hand. it's the sort of thing he might've learned to do himself, in a different life. no one was ever supposed to care about the second son of the king, leaving him to do as he pleased — which mostly consisted of satisfying his voracious desire for knowledge through reading, and petting all the horses in the stables on the side. ] This is useful, thank you.
no subject
( he lowers his gaze, almost thoughtfully, trying to amass all the reasons he could claim, both vague and direct. 'the same reason we don't drink wine' works, and is just vague enough to get him out of this line of questioning. maybe. 'because everyone needs a plan C' is similarly vague, and similarly true. he has a feeling laurent won't actually accept 'someone weak like me needs more protection than fluttered lashes', if only because aspen did show that he was somewhat capable of combat on the literal boat ride here.
so instead, he breathes in and locks eyes with laurent. )
I don't think you have magic in your world, but in mine... most everyone does, and those who don't, are trained in weaponry. Magic over fire, over stone, over air - those are easy to use to hurt. You may not have noticed... but my magic is not like that. And courtesans aren't trained in weapons, and are rarely strong enough to injure others.
I needed a way to use my magic whilst in a war, whether it was on the front or back. ( he takes out a second bomb for laurent to take - this one colored a pale yellow as opposed to the vibrant green. ) And these were the answers I came up with.
I have my own, more experimental explosives I use. Those two are my tried-and-true formulas, so you can be certain they'll help you if you need it.
no subject
I see, thank you. [ nothing more needs to be said. he accepts the second explosive and examines it carefully. there is nothing like this back home in vere, nothing in any of the neighboring kingdoms that he's seen. it strikes him again how many similar traits they share, with aspen flitting about appearing harmless while being anything but. likewise, laurent has always preferred not to show his hand until absolutely necessary. ] Do I just throw it to activate it?
no subject
Mmhm. As long as it hits a surface with force, they'll explode.
Hopefully you won't need to use them. In any case - I'll await your return, Renren.
no subject
Please don't call me that. [ there is no bite behind his words, and he looks half like he wants to vomit. politely, he clears his throat. ] Thank you for the explosives. I'll bring you back the creature's skin, and then our debts will be settled.
no subject
Aww, alright. ( but he does look disappointed, with the tiniest pout. ) You're welcome. Stay safe out there.