[As a former international terrorist who once endured the whole world, save one, against him ā Laurent's continual bid for his death is easy to disregard.]
Pretend as much as you like, you're as affected by your Shadow as I am.
You said his name. You mock me for what I suffer with this disease while suffering the same.
because iām cold to you? because i look forward to your death? these are not reflections of my shadow. itās pretty that you presume to know me after a few false exchanges.
[ his pulse flutters rapidly, tension coiled tight in the pit of his stomach. something isnāt right. ]
you misheard. tell me why i would be suffering from your same illness over my brotherās murderer? these flowers are nothing more than familial, for my dear uncle whom i love and miss daily. i can tell you want badly for company in your misery, though.
[He feels tired, worn, dragged around enough by his Shadow that at this point he doesn't care to play any of these games.]
You said you miss him.
The things you've told me, and the things I've told you, aren't trivial. Our exchanges aren't false. And I know you hold no such sentiment for your uncle.
[ his mind, a constantly moving tumble of sharp edges, abruptly seems to stop. no clever quips come, no quick retort to turn the tides back toward his favor. all he feels is that his flank has been left wide open, unbeknownst to him all this time.
hearing damenās name from sasukeās mouth disorients him, setting his heart on the edge of anger and confusion and jagged hurt ā itās so much of what he feels when he thinks of damen himself that it makes him livid with rage, raw with grief.
it occurs to him all at once that heās lost time. that sasuke has knowledge he doesnāt remember giving. heās been coerced before, been taken advantage of under the influence of poisonous drink ā injury and near-death are not so different to cloud the mind, especially with those strange eyes he doesnāt yet understand. ]
what did you do to me?
[ it comes out like a throb of pain, balanced on the edge of a knife of tension, as if heās preparing for the worst. all he remembers is startling awake, his shoulder burning and sasukeās hand lingering on him. ]
[What he's done to Laurent bears the evidence of those physical injuries ā not whatever darker, imagined enemy in mind.]
I attacked you. I hurt your arm and wrist, then used chidori to channel lightning through you. After, you were delirious, and that's when you spoke of those things. All I did was return you to the village.
I can prove it. Everything I see is remembered with these eyes. I can show you the memory, but you would have to meet me in person.
[ easy to think of a dozen reasons why he shouldnāt entertain such an offer. trust isnāt a thing he can afford to give, and sasuke is hardly deserving of it regardless. ]
convenient, for you. will you serve me cookies and tea, too?
[ but not knowing is not an option. allowing sasuke to walk about with this knowledge fills him with a jaggedly unfamiliar terror. heās kept this secret for so long, hidden and locked away this shame in his heart, and to have it exposed against his will here again and again has been more daunting than if sasuke had chosen to simply kill him that night. but he canāt trick his mind into believing without proof. ]
youāll have to be more creative if youāre trying to invite me into your bed.
[In the wake of sick knowledge, Laurent's crude words take a different shape. He had noticed it the first time in the tent. No longer can he shake it off as absurd attempts to rile him, to get under his skin or ruin his composure with discomfort, impervious as he may prove to the vulgarity. There is a line he must establish, clearly and without ambiguity. No room can exist yet to dwell on the rest ā on what has happened to make Laurent so occupied with obscenity ā as, in his emotionally unraveled state, it simply makes him too angry.]
I have no such ulterior motive. You've said it yourself and you were correct. My experience in that area is nonexistent.
[ the sharp bite he wants doesnāt come, sasukeās words instead measured with careful thought. he tames his panic into something manageable, his chest rising in a steady cadence. ]
in your life, you have never lain with a woman or a man?
[ he doesn't know what to make of these words, that sasuke is lesser experienced than even him. it makes him think there's no way he would have laid hands on him without knowing, not in that way. it makes him think that a man desperate and stupid and untouched would think nothing of taking something unearned. that has been his experience in arles. ]
does your cock work?
i will meet you at the midwinter banquet in radiance. you and i, alone. you will bathe in the pool of sanctification so i know your shadow will be silenced. those are my terms.
[The question meets frustration, then subdued by a private breath. It's as he should expect Laurent to reply, and so it won't offend him; he has given his piece. Whether it comes with any reassurance of intentions he cannot tell.]
Fine. I accept those terms.
[Radiance is the last place he would choose to be, but for this he will make the exception.]
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no subject
Pretend as much as you like, you're as affected by your Shadow as I am.
You said his name. You mock me for what I suffer with this disease while suffering the same.
no subject
[ his pulse flutters rapidly, tension coiled tight in the pit of his stomach. something isnāt right. ]
you misheard. tell me why i would be suffering from your same illness over my brotherās murderer? these flowers are nothing more than familial, for my dear uncle whom i love and miss daily. i can tell you want badly for company in your misery, though.
no subject
You said you miss him.
The things you've told me, and the things I've told you, aren't trivial. Our exchanges aren't false. And I know you hold no such sentiment for your uncle.
no subject
hearing damenās name from sasukeās mouth disorients him, setting his heart on the edge of anger and confusion and jagged hurt ā itās so much of what he feels when he thinks of damen himself that it makes him livid with rage, raw with grief.
it occurs to him all at once that heās lost time. that sasuke has knowledge he doesnāt remember giving. heās been coerced before, been taken advantage of under the influence of poisonous drink ā injury and near-death are not so different to cloud the mind, especially with those strange eyes he doesnāt yet understand. ]
what did you do to me?
[ it comes out like a throb of pain, balanced on the edge of a knife of tension, as if heās preparing for the worst. all he remembers is startling awake, his shoulder burning and sasukeās hand lingering on him. ]
no subject
[What he's done to Laurent bears the evidence of those physical injuries ā not whatever darker, imagined enemy in mind.]
I attacked you. I hurt your arm and wrist, then used chidori to channel lightning through you. After, you were delirious, and that's when you spoke of those things. All I did was return you to the village.
I can prove it. Everything I see is remembered with these eyes. I can show you the memory, but you would have to meet me in person.
no subject
convenient, for you. will you serve me cookies and tea, too?
[ but not knowing is not an option. allowing sasuke to walk about with this knowledge fills him with a jaggedly unfamiliar terror. heās kept this secret for so long, hidden and locked away this shame in his heart, and to have it exposed against his will here again and again has been more daunting than if sasuke had chosen to simply kill him that night. but he canāt trick his mind into believing without proof. ]
youāll have to be more creative if youāre trying to invite me into your bed.
no subject
I have no such ulterior motive. You've said it yourself and you were correct. My experience in that area is nonexistent.
If you agree to meet, it will be on your terms.
no subject
in your life, you have never lain with a woman or a man?
no subject
[A conservative upbringing and lack of education make the topic somewhat treacherous, but here he is, trying.]
no subject
does your cock work?
i will meet you at the midwinter banquet in radiance. you and i, alone. you will bathe in the pool of sanctification so i know your shadow will be silenced. those are my terms.
no subject
Fine. I accept those terms.
[Radiance is the last place he would choose to be, but for this he will make the exception.]